Therapeutic

It was on Tuesday that my Aunt and cousins from the United States arrived. They are vacationing here for a total of six weeks and will be staying over at my house. Their homecoming was a bitter sweet thing. Sweet that I am finally able to catchup and hug my cute cousins for real and not send virtual kisses over the webcam, but bitter for I had to say goodbye to my privacy.

It took me awhile to realise this about myself: I cannot spend a large amount of time consecutively with people, even with close friends. I went to Korea with two other friends last year for 16 days. I was all hyped up about going overseas without adult supervision but to my utter surprise, I find myself wanting to go home after five days. Initially I thought it was homesickness, but no, the symptoms told me otherwise. I merely needed alone time. Time in solitude and away from the world. I grew really grumpy and would snap at the slightest things my friends would do. I guess Im sorry my friends had to put up with me but really, 24 hours a day for 16 days is just too much for me to handle. I am just not used to being around people for an extended period of time.

My family respects each others’ personal space. Everyone has got their own little heaven on earth. My dad likes to read in the study room for example. Naturally, my sanctuary would be my room. Its walls are painted a dark violet, window shades are always drawn closed and most importantly, the door is closed at all times. All these factors scream ‘Comfortable’ to me.

I honestly dislike hate people texting me all the time. Anyone who knows me well knows that I would ignore them unless they are important and needs immediate attention. I do read them but I don’t necessarily acknowledge that I had. I have come across many people who feels that I am rude to do so and that it is basic courtesy to reply. I guess I understand where they are coming from, but than again, Im not bothered enough by this fact to change. Clingy people is my ultimate pet peeve(I have quite a few)! I absolutely. Cannot. Stand. Them. Them and me don’t match very well at all. I see no point and need in reporting to a certain someone what I am doing right now for the entire length of the day. In turn, they would be frustrated and jump to conclusions when I refuse to reply. Like dude, even if you don’t need it but please do not deprive others(me) of a breather.

Interacting with people can be really exhausting. It is not at all pretentious of me to say that I do not always portray my true self to others. In emo language, ‘I am hiding behind a mask.’ Let’s face it. In a society, I doubt anyone and everyone would approve of your character. I see this as a form of compromise that everyone should make to ensure peace within a community. Of course, as much as you want to make friends/please people, be true to yourself too. Never betray your values.

Whenever I meet people that I can clique with, I make it a point to let them know about my tendencies to be cynical, sarcastic and among other things right from the very beginning. However with people I don’t care for, I don’t clarify my actions. I really couldn’t care less if my comment offends them. I guess this method works as I am still schooling, true, I have lesser friends but its alright. The harsh world outside is a whole different story.

Alone time is therapeutic and the best and easiest way to relax. It recharges me and I’ll be in a better mood.

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