CompassionPosted: May 12, 2011
I saw red today. Correction, I am still seething.
I’m not a hugely feeling person. I rarely let my emotions get the best of me, however today.. Today was the ultimate.
At the bus stop, I was waiting for my bus to arrive. It was extremely crowded. Everyone inched inner, wanting to get under the shade of the pathetic shelter and away from the cruel rays of the sun. There he seated, in his washed-out, blue construction jumpsuit with splotches of mud, grime, sweat and who knows what else. Shoulders slumped, his disheveled head rested casually against the pole and his pair of calloused and dirt encrusted hands would repeatedly visit an area of his upper thigh, massaging it. It was his eyes which spoke volumes to me- tired, yellow tinted eyes that roamed aimlessly ahead of him. His detached demeanor, complete with an aura of bleakness about him had evoked something within me. His eyes flickered over to me, our eyes met for the briefest of time. Somehow, I could just tell that he knew, knew instinctively that I sympathized him, for I am sure nothing gave me away. He disregarded me.
He has no use for such a thing called sympathy.
I continued to observe him discreetly. It was then, two extremely frail-looking elderly hobbled over, both lugging large, heavy as hell looking plastic bags full of groceries with difficulty. One even had to rely on her walking stick. It was apparent that they needed a seat each. Guess who, without hesitation offered his seat? The bangladeshi heaved himself up and limped away. Obviously, the other old lady was still left standing. I saw her scanned the row of occupied benches with empathy. The row of selfish individuals all freaking avoided her gaze, unrelenting in giving up their fucking precious seats. But what affected me greatly was that she neither looked disappointed nor angry, just resigned. As though this is a usual occurrence.
I do realise that there are people like that out there, in fact I have seen it many a times. But when I am being slammed face first with such incredulity, I really find it damn hard to ignore. I cannot help but compare that seemingly refined office lady or that seemingly healthy secondary school boy or even that seemingly stocky, well-abled, young man with that tired and possibly injured bangladeshi. You would think that all of them possess more compassion than the latter. Well, no. They fucking do not. How is it that the bangladeshi is capable of giving more even though he obviously has lesser than those seated? The equation do not add up and it freaking pisses me off. What is the bloody use for having an expensive education or earning big bucks if you cannot even perform a simple gesture of kindness? It says a whole lot about them as a human being.
Yes, I do understand that I cannot view this on such a surface level. The people seated may have their reasons for doing so. Maybe they had a bad day at work, or the secondary school boy burned the midnight oil the day before to complete his homework and thus he is very tired… Whatever the reasons, I guess, I am in no position to judge if there are valid or not.
Did I really need to witness such a thing even though I already knew that this is a man-eat-man world? Maybe it is the urban, competitive environment that moulded the community into who we are today. I kind of wished I did not encounter this, but than again, I also saw something that made me smile, for that I am still optimistic.
At the end of the day, I hope that those people are regretting their actions and is having trouble sleeping now… Oh, who am I kidding? Let’s hope Karma bite them back in their arse twice as hard.